Yes I know it's something of a scandalous question but it's meant honestly. Isn't masturbation a sin in Christianity? (Onanism.). But sin or no sin, do we really believe that priests and nuns don't touch themselves?
It's actually unhealthy for a man not to ejaculate on a semi-regular basis, so to some degree it's a health issue. But also mental health -- can any person really go through life without the pleasure of sexual release? Wouldn't that make you ... intensely weird?
But if he does masturbate, WHAT ON EARTH DOES HE FANTASIZE ABOUT??? Now that is high-octane nightmare fuel right there.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | May 28, 2020 5:04 AM |
I believe Masturbation is stll listed as a deadly sin in the Catholic Church.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | October 5, 2015 5:53 PM |
Yes, while fantasizing about Kim Davis.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | October 5, 2015 5:58 PM |
You have no idea, santa maria. Pray for me!
by Anonymous | reply 4 | October 5, 2015 6:00 PM |
R3, that's HAWT! I touched myself when I read that.
In any event I'm glad we're having a poll about it on the DL so we can finally put this question to bed.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | October 5, 2015 6:03 PM |
How do you know you're sleeping in a priest's bed? Because the sheets stick to you.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | October 5, 2015 6:08 PM |
Of course he does. Is the Pope Catholic?
by Anonymous | reply 8 | October 5, 2015 6:10 PM |
Solo le emissioni notturne!
by Anonymous | reply 9 | October 5, 2015 6:14 PM |
My understanding is that he is, R8.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | October 5, 2015 6:20 PM |
Realistically, at his age? Come on.
Maybe 40 years ago.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | October 5, 2015 7:10 PM |
It might not make me intensely weird, but it would make me hoppin'-ass MAD!
by Anonymous | reply 12 | October 5, 2015 7:13 PM |
This reminds me of the other thread, "The pope is coming! The pope is coming!"
by Anonymous | reply 13 | October 5, 2015 7:19 PM |
40 years ago, R11? Do you think men in, say, their 50s don't masturbate?
by Anonymous | reply 14 | October 5, 2015 7:20 PM |
Of course he does. He wouldn't do that insane foot washing thing of adolescent boys if he didn't still choke the chicken.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | October 5, 2015 7:43 PM |
No, but he shits in the woods.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | October 5, 2015 8:05 PM |
Long story short when I was in college I became close to my College's Chaplin. I was conflicted about being gay and I was raised very catholic. Even after college our friendship continued (even after I left the church) and once over a couple rounds of drinks I got the priest to admit that yes most priest (including him) take matters into their own hands from time to time....btw he was hot and that image provided me with material for months LOL.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | October 5, 2015 8:10 PM |
All recent popes have had disposable one-use fleshlights in genuine ermine. This pope finds that a sinful luxury and has reverted to ecologically respectful, low carbon-impact, handsome Swiss Guards on PrEP.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | October 5, 2015 8:11 PM |
I hope he does. You can get nasty prostatitis without regular orgasms. It's something the male body is supposed to do on a regular basis. Some guys cum while sleeping but some don't.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | October 5, 2015 8:18 PM |
(R16) that insane foot ritual is done not just by the Pope it's done in all cathic churches it's actually a very beautiful and meaningful part of the liturgy , you really do not what you speak of ,
by Anonymous | reply 21 | October 5, 2015 9:02 PM |
The pope tried to titty fuck me and give me a pearl necklace
by Anonymous | reply 22 | October 5, 2015 9:17 PM |
His boi told me that when he jacks on Friday nights he tries not to think about fish. Because Jesus.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | October 5, 2015 10:45 PM |
[quote]Long story short when I was in college I became close to my College's Chaplin.
Was your college doing a salute to silent movie comedians?
by Anonymous | reply 24 | October 5, 2015 11:16 PM |
He told me that if he baptized me with his Holy Jism, I'd go directly to heaven. No purgatory for me, baby!
by Anonymous | reply 25 | October 5, 2015 11:16 PM |
Isn't it unhealthy to never empty your load?
by Anonymous | reply 26 | October 6, 2015 12:27 AM |
His robe pockets have slits in them. It's why they make all popes wave with both hands - proof they're not flogging their own bishop.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | October 6, 2015 12:32 AM |
I believe the Pope flogs the Cardinal.
They are stiff and crimson, too.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | October 6, 2015 12:49 AM |
R26 yes I have heard it's supposed to be but I'll never have to find out!
by Anonymous | reply 29 | October 14, 2015 12:32 PM |
Why would he need to do that, with all these Swiss Guards and altar boys in the vicinity?
by Anonymous | reply 31 | October 14, 2015 1:09 PM |
So if he does, what does he fantasize about? I mean seriously, or as serious as that question can be anyway. Does he dream of fucking women in that pope outfit of his? Or if he's one of the tribe, as we used to say, does he dream of eating ass and sucking dick?
It's all so strange -- we are sexual creatures of course but some people cultivate this extremely non-sexual image.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | October 14, 2015 1:10 PM |
I don't need to masturbate.
I have my "assistant" Georg Ganswein to fuck me silly when I need a good ass pounding!
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 33 | October 14, 2015 1:43 PM |
Does the Pope stick his fingers up his ass while he jacks off?
by Anonymous | reply 34 | October 14, 2015 2:25 PM |
I went to a Catholic school for 8 years and in the 7th grade, they would bring in a monk weekly that we could ask any question to. I often abused this privilege for shits and giggles, and one day asked him out of the blue if masturbation was a sin. Honestly did NOT expect to get an answer, much less the one I got, but in all seriousness, this is what the answer he gave was: "It's only a sin if you're lusting after someone while you're doing it. But if you praise Jesus and thank him for the ability to feel those feelings, it's not." ....Catholic loophole?
Yes, I immediately got sent to the principal right after this.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | November 2, 2015 1:25 AM |
A truly fascinating question. I think that he probably does not.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | May 27, 2020 3:26 PM |
Yes, but never on a Sunday. There was a song about this.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 37 | May 27, 2020 3:53 PM |
R35 is correct. The church is more modern and practical than you think. Lust is the sin, not ejaculation.
Considering the Pope's age, I suspect he is not troubled by these thoughts.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | May 27, 2020 3:56 PM |
I don't think I've gone longer than 8-9 days without ejaculating in many many years, but when I have in the past eventually I'd have a wet dream so I assume if the Pope is not polishing off the sceptre on a regular basis he must at least wake up every now and then in a wet sticky patch.
Though he's old as hell now I thought sperm production never stops so presumably it is all building up in his saggy crusty Pope-balls and has to come out sooner or later.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | May 27, 2020 3:58 PM |
I dont think that the Pope would masturbate, he probably has a delegated prostate stimulator to serve the heir of St. Peter in a medicinal capacity.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | May 27, 2020 4:16 PM |
The Pope revels in his wet dreams and alternates back and forth as viewing them as a gift from God, or a curse from Satan.
by Anonymous | reply 41 | May 27, 2020 4:27 PM |
The pope used to masturbated quite a bit when he was younger. It's petered out in recent yeears.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | May 27, 2020 11:17 PM |
All males whack it at some point. Regarding the pope, I would imagine not so much if at all today. Although you never know. Even old men may need a tug now and then.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | May 27, 2020 11:28 PM |
[quote]saggy crusty Pope-balls
Pics please.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | May 27, 2020 11:31 PM |
[quote][R35] is correct. The church is more modern and practical than you think. Lust is the sin, not ejaculation.
I don’t think that’s correct. The church believes that ALL sexual activity must be for the purposes of procreation, so ejaculation into anything other than a vagina is sinful.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | May 27, 2020 11:37 PM |
[quote]Does the Pope stick his fingers up his ass while he jacks off?
No, but he pulls a rosary out of his ass as he comes.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | May 27, 2020 11:45 PM |
I don't think the celibacy thang was ever meant to be honored. It just let them explain why they weren't doing pussy.
I guess it still does.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | May 28, 2020 12:01 AM |
OP, properly speaking "Onanism" is not the same as masturbation, no matter what the usual definition is.
Onanism is the intentional "spilling of seed" in refusal to propagate according to "God's" Will.
Most priests I've had as friends have said that of course they masturbate or have masturbated. It is, even for the most committed celibate, a healthful physical release. They've said they've tried not to make it habitual or to focus on fantasy because eroticism and using someone else's image for sexual purposes wasn't right (for them). Several said they didn't confess it because it was self-evidently not a sin no matter what the "teachings" suggested. Others did, but many priests have a particular confessor with whom they are simpatico.
I don't know why the subject of a pope's sexual fantasies would be titillating. In his 80s he likely sorted things out long ago.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | May 28, 2020 12:02 AM |
When he climaxes he groans "I'm vobiscumming".
by Anonymous | reply 49 | May 28, 2020 12:08 AM |
[quote] I don’t think that’s correct. The church believes that ALL sexual activity must be for the purposes of procreation, so ejaculation into anything other than a vagina is sinful.
But like the other guy said, most priests are very practical about these things. They aren't the nutjob ideological ones usually.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | May 28, 2020 12:12 AM |
[quote]Does the pope masturbate?
Beats me.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | May 28, 2020 12:18 AM |
I had a fraternity brother who went to a strict Catholic high school and told us he had never masturbated, ever. He had no problem fucking girls "doggie style". He bragged about it all the time.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | May 28, 2020 12:34 AM |
I attended an all-male Catholic high school. During one 'Religion' (adult sexuality) class, one brave lad asked Brother Gene if Franciscans masturbated, or at least had wet dreams. Brother Gene dryly informed us that, as the rectory's laundry was his domain, he had yet to find a brand of bluing that did not stand out (high-lighting semen stains) during post-laundry inspections. He let us draw our own conclusions. The Franciscan priests and brothers were surprisingly non-stuffy, playing basketball with us after hours, driving some of us younger students home from events when we were too young to drive ourselves. It was a very different world, and I still have very fond memories of many of my instructors from the 60s.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | May 28, 2020 3:49 AM |
R53. Ballsy question by the student. Ballsy response from Brother Gene.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | May 28, 2020 5:04 AM |
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